Hédimo Santana reports on the Northern Rivers Retreat.
A large number of people with HIV live in and around the Northern Rivers. Many moved there to enjoy a more relaxed quality of life. However, given the large geographical area, people with HIV can also face some challenges, including lack of full time work, isolation and needing to travel long distances, as well as scarcity of transport.
Those who have been living in the region for a while have often created satisfying support networks. These networks may not necessarily consist of other positive people, as disclosure can be difficult in rural centres. Newly-arrived residents, however, sometimes find it a challenge to set up a support network. The absence of an established commercial gay community means positive people have to rely on specific events to meet each other. This is why the annual HIV positive gay men’s retreat is such an important opportunity to socialise with peers.
What happens at the Retreat?
ACON organised the first Retreat for HIV positive gay men in the Northern Rivers in 1994. It has been running since, and continues to be as relevant as it was then.
This year’s Retreat took place, once again, at the Midginbil Hill Farmstay Country Resort, located beneath the awesome escarpments of the World Heritage listed Nightcap National Park near Lismore.
About 50 men attended the Retreat, double the amount of last year’s. While a majority of participants came from around the Northern Rivers, some of them travelled from as far away as Wollongong; as well as Queensland. The Retreat ran for four days, from Thursday 24 May to Sunday 27 May.
Early Friday morning some participants braved the creek for yoga and meditation, returning to the main shed as the sun warmed up, to meet the others for breakfast. Then we all gathered outside, under a tree, to agree on the rules guiding the retreat for the next two days, such as confidentiality. After that, participants headed for the first of two fitness workshops, run by exercise physiologist Ingrid Cullen.
In the early afternoon I ran my first workshop: “Hooking up: sex and connections”, focusing on the experience of living in rural areas. Participants discussed
- what makes good sex
- boundaries
- disclosure of HIV
- and the role of condoms
The discussion highlighted issues such as isolation, difficulty meeting up for sex, careful consideration people give to disclosure, as well as the problems of discrimination and sexual rejection.
That evening included a camp fire, dinner and a home-made movie of detailed photographic close-ups of plants and flowers, along with background music from Mother Nature.
The following afternoon, after the second fitness workshop, nutritionist Jenny McDonald talked about how to use diet to manage HIV treatments side effects.
The logistics of coming together regularly
After a short break, we discussed the logistics of ACON establishing a peer support group, similar to 729 in Sydney, for gay men living longer with HIV in the Northern Rivers.
I got the impression many of those who have been around long enough have already established enduring and satisfying support networks, but would still participate in any new support group if it was offered. However, the newly-arrived residents were eager for such a group, and would be enthusiastically involved. But they would need the other guys to join in.
Distance can make regular gatherings difficult, but this can be overcome if the support group was run along with the market days. And people could share transport, as well as cook something and share their culinary skills. And then everyone would be less lonely and less isolated.
I returned home with a feeling that some seeds were planted in the Rivers. I would love to go back soon, to see it blossoming.
