When less is more: Illustration by JP GilmourGreg Page examines a culture of bingeing and what it means if you’re HIV+
Rosalind: Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?
From Shakespeare’s “As You Like It”, 1600
We all know excess can sometimes do you harm, although no less a mere mortal than Liberace did once exclaim “too much of a good thing is wonderful”. OTT entertainer Libbers, who died of AIDS in 1987, was someone who truly knew what he was talking about, what with his lavish lifestyle, extravagant diamond-encrusted costumes and fascination with shiny baubles (one of his many nicknames was “The Glitter Man”). How many other people opened their own museum, let alone one in Las Vegas?
But hedonism, high-living, or self-indulgence can also have a less, pardon the pun, positive side – namely bingeing, greed, or what once was better known as the vice of gluttony. The question here really is – when is too much more than enough? It’s something that should give everyone, especially positive people who like to “push the envelope” in certain areas, cause to pause and reflect.
Often today when we think of bingeing we think merely of overeating. Comfort food has become something of a kind term for how we often use food, and not good food at that, as a reward, a way to prop ourselves up, or as a crutch to get through some of life’s hardships. Little wonder we’ve become a nation of fatties.
In June of this year it was reported Australia had officially won itself the dubious honour of becoming “fattest nation in the world”. Four million Australians — 26% of the adult population — are now obese, compared to an estimated 25% of Americans, with a further five million Australians considered overweight. The report from Melbourne's Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute was given the rather unattractive title of Australia's Future Fat Bomb.
The report states this seemingly out-of-control “fat bomb” is likely to cause 123,000 premature deaths over the next two decades. Now that’s real food for thought! Most at risk are middle-aged men, which also just happens to be the highest affected group of HIV+ people. So think first before you scoff…and scoff…and scoff!
However bingeing is by no means limited to simply stuffing too many Kit Kats into your face. It’s a condition that can also be different things to different people, but where matters are simply taken too far. It could be shopping for the sake of it (the sinisterly-named “retail therapy”), collecting to the point of obsession, going out for a big night out many nights in a row, gym “junkies” compulsively addicted to working out, drowning yourself in drink and/or a wallet-draining amount of drugs, as well as perhaps most pertinent of all to many HIVers, a sex fixation that borders, or even goes over the borderline of becoming a habit.
So when is too much a bad thing? When does it become a problem? When do you realise that you’ve gone too far and need to pull yourself back from the brink?
Of course there are all kinds of value judgements involved here. What one person considers appropriate, another person may think is too much, or conversely too little. It’s a bit like the old adage of whether you see the glass as half-full or half-empty – it’s all down to your own perception.
Ultimately though when it comes to overindulging, only you yourself can say when enough is enough. That point may come where what started off as a fun pastime turns into a time-consuming passion, or perhaps most grimly, where your life appears to be spiraling out of control on its own and it’s time to reassess and pull back.
A good rule of thumb at this time is to consider these four basic questions:
- Do I really need this in my life (or stomach, as the case may be!)?
- Is this good for my general health and well-being?
- Am I hurting anyone else, including myself, through my actions?
- Is the likely outcome of what I am about to do going to be harmful?
Asking yourself these four simple question may make you re-examine your motives and make you see things more clearly. Do you really need to have a second cream bun or donut, for example? Or why are you constantly going to sex venues on weekends for drug-fuelled anonymous sex “benders” when you know it will take you the whole week to recover afterwards (and possibly longer if you unlikely contract something along the way)? Consider the basic question - why am I bingeing at all? Shouldn’t the old saying that “less is more” be of consolation here?
Some steps to combat bingeing are channelling that energy, or bad behaviour, into something that will do you, or others, good. If you want to treat yourself, then do so, but keep a limit on things. Know when you’ve had too much, or when you’ve gone too far. Keep a track of your actions by writing down what you have overindulged in over a period of time. It may horrify you when you stare down at a piece (or pieces!) of paper to see where and how far your actions have led you over a period of time.
Everyone needs to let off a little steam every so often. That’s a given. But when you get to the point where your binge behaviour is impinging and impacting on your ability to function in a day to day situation, or appears to the only way you can escape from your reality, clearly there is a need to change things in your life.
Find yourself a group of people who understand what you are going through and what you are experiencing. ACON offers excellent counseling services, as well as various support groups, that may help bring some life-affirming clarity.
Being HIV+ you owe it to yourself to be kind to yourself. You can’t change your diagnosis, but you can live with it, and can live well with it. Don’t let it be something that weighs you down and takes you down a path you’ll never be able to recover from.
Focus on the good things in your life – your accomplishments, family and friends, the things that give you joy and pleasure and – good karma alert! - in doing good for others. You’ll find you’ll get it back twofold!
As Liberace also once said, quite rightly, “nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself”!
