Positive Life NSW

POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE - HIV IS IN OUR LIVES

Sex and risk: Why do we take risks? How do I manage risk and take control? If I have had unsafe sex what can I do to take back control? And how do I deal with a positive diagnosis? This fact sheet looks at how gay men manage risk. It also offers strategies and practical tips on:

• taking back control after a risk event
• the subsequent testing for HIV [and]
• dealing with a positive diagnosis.

Pushing boundaries

Sex can be an experience when gay men, whether they are HIV positive or negative, allow themselves to be vulnerable. You might be more likely to push the boundaries and take greater sexual risks because you’re in love, starting a new relationship, out of it on drugs or alcohol, or are new to a particular scene. For some, the spontaneity of the moment can simply outweigh the awareness of risk.

Morris: I’d never been to a sauna before. I had just come out really. I was very naïve and I didn’t know how things worked. I was very vulnerable. Everything happened so quickly and I knew that he came inside me. Risk can happen when you throw yourself into a situation and you want to feel like you know what you’re doing.

Jarred: I was aware of the risk and it wasn’t that I was so out of it, and didn’t know what I was doing. We both were pushing the boundaries. It was about intimacy and pleasure. It was like I was temporarily in love.

Peter: My positive partner and me were having sexual play and he partially inserted his dick into my arse. I agonised over the question of how much insertion happened and for how long it happened? I’d noticed that he’d produced quite a lot of pre-cum. […] I was having quite a bit of anxiety about being in a new relationship.

Also, sexual experiences and the kinds of sex we are used to having with previous partners can influence sex with new partners.

This is only an extract of the text from this fact sheet; use the links at right to obtain the full content.